At Malki's graveside: Eighteen years

A photo snapped by a friend at the cemetery
during yesterday's memorial service

With the passage of time, I am struck more and more by the briefness of Malki and Michal's lives.

When Malki was still with us, I often related to her as a friend. She was, after all, the oldest of our daughters and extremely mature in her behavior.

But now, after 18 years, it is clear that she was but a child at the time of her murder. Which renders what she packed into those few years all the more incredible.

The giving, the love, the generosity and the volunteering, the smiles and the laughter, the faith and the faithfulness, the flute-playing, the creative artwork - all these she accomplished in incredible quantities and in a mere fifteen years. 

What a child we lost! How does one continue despite such pain?

And an even tougher question: How does one continue in our forefathers' path despite the pain? We grapple with this challenge every day.

This coming Shabbat, Parshat Ekev will be read.

In his commentary on this Torah portion, contained in his book "Esh Kodesh", Rabbi Kalonymus Shapira, the Rebbe of Piaseczna, offers us the following advice.

In the context of the Gemara, Masechet Shabbat כ"ה ע"ב, the Esh Kodesh, as the Rebbe has become known, writes that there are long periods in the lives of all rabbis when "the angel of G-d in them is not revealed" - meaning when a rabbi is not spiritually at his peak. 

In such situations, his students "awaken in him the Angel of G-d". By approaching him and asking him Biblical questions "they themselves cause him to resemble an Angel." 

The inquiries and questions emanating from the youths in our lives are what prevent our succumbing to pain. They keep that inner "Angel of G-d" from "waning and fading", in the words of the Esh Kodesh.

Let us pray that we always have beloved students at our side to provide the strengthening and awakening that will enable us to endure the endless pain and longing.