Beside my daughter's grave today

Malki and me, Jerusalem, 1993 

I spoke at the graveside Azkara ceremony today, the anniversary according to the Hebrew calendar of the day we lost our daughter Malki הי"ד to the monsters who bombed the Sbarro pizzeria. The text below is translated from the Hebrew in which I addressed the family and friends who attended.

* * *

For most, the terror attack that robbed us of our precious Malki and [her close friend] Michal is relegated to history.

But for their loved ones, it is as vivid and deeply painful as it was 21 years ago.

While at past azkarot [memorial services] we said we didn’t believe there will be any nechama [comfort, respite], this year we can declare that in fact there wasn't and isn't any.

I have been combing through old papers that were stashed away at the time of our move from another part of Jerusalem where we lived for the past thirty years to where we now live.

In the storage room, I found a collection of scores of notes that Malki had left to me, and to other members of our family, most of them tucked under the challah cover on Friday evenings.

I force myself to read a few. Each one is a fresh stab at my heart. 

Each one reminds me again of Malki's love, generosity, warmth and empathy.

Here is one from when she was little:

לאמא המקסימה!

אמא! תודה רבה על כל ההשקעה שהשקעת בי כל השנים הללו מכשהיית בהריון איתי ועעעעדדדד היום.

א - ותך אוהבת לעולמים

מ - ימך קיבלתי את כל הצרכים

א - מא אחרת לא מוצאים

אני אוהבת אותך ככה ------ הרבה.

מבתך,

מלכי

To my mag-nif-i-cent Mom!

Mommy! Thank you so much for all that you've invested in me all these years from when you were pregnant with me uuuuntil today.....

I - love you forever
F - rom you I have received all my needs
A - nother mother cannot be found!
I love you this ---- much 
From your daughter,
Malki

A couple of them remind me that she was a normal child with a full range of children's emotions including anger and resentment.

Tragically, I can't right those wrongs now. The only thing I can do for her is continue our fight to attain the elusive justice for which her blood cries out.

That travesty too is now deemed history by most others but for us it is fresh, painful and demanding of action .

Let's hope it will be rectified sooner than we anticipate.