Silver linings and slippery slopes

My murdered daughter Malki and the ruins of the Sbarro

pizzeria minutes after it was bombed by terrorists

Everyone grieves differently; naturally. Not surprisingly, families of the victims of terror are often alienated from each other by their varied ways of grappling with their tragedies.

But one particular approach to loss has become, I hesitate to brand it thus, trendy among the general public.

Increasingly, the media - whether social or mainstream - spotlights the parents of murdered children who emphasize the "silver lining" message. By that I mean the positives that their loss has provided them.

It might be the not-for-profit that they have founded in their child's memory. Or the new outlook on life they've embraced in the wake of their tragedy. Or the overwhelming support and love of their relatives and friends they've received. Or the conviction that the heavenly goodness in their child's murder exists but simply evades our limited comprehension.

Those are topics deemed acceptable and publishable.

But anger, doubt, confusion or the desire for justice and the imprisonment of the murderers are not. They have become taboo emotions nowadays.

This sentiment is reminiscent of the one that reigned in Israel after Holocaust survivors settled here. The society those victims joined clearly signaled to them - and sometimes even told them explicitly - that mentioning their horrific experiences and unfathomable grief was not welcome.

Another spreading trend is to deny terrorist acts the label "terrorism". More and more global news services refer to them as "events in a cycle of violence" or "responses to the occupation" and so on. It is a phenomenon that both enrages the murdered victims' families and encourages fresh terrorism.

Recently, the global news source CNN crossed a red line in its reporting on the April 7, 2023 Jordan Valley shooting attack that resulted in the murder of the Dee family's wife/mother and two daughters. As reported by CAMERA on April 11, 2023, two CNN correspondents described that terror act with language never before used in that context.

Frederik Pleitgen said:

“But earlier in the West Bank, there was a shooting incident where a car received a bullet shot, or gunshots, with the family in it. It was a mother and her two daughters, and the two daughters were killed in that crash.”

CNN's Isa Soares adopted the same wording. 

Both journalists later reported the shooting of a Palestinian youth, aged 16, by Israeli forces during a military operation. The ages of the Dee daughters were never cited by Soares or Pleitgen, although one was 15 years old.

I shudder to imagine how they would have recounted the Sbarro bombing of August, 2001 which took our angel Malki from us forever. Perhaps

"The Sbarro pizzeria in central Jerusalem received a 10 kg explosive from which 15 men, women and children took shrapnel and died."

For some reason, nobody among Israel's journalists or politicians chose to weigh in on CNN's terrorism denial other than Israel National News which merely reprinted CAMERA's report.

This conduct sets a dangerous precedent that cries out for our protests.

Yet Israel's silence shouldn't surprise us. My husband and I have encountered the same indifference in our quest for justice for our Malki.

Her self confessed murderer, Ahlam Tamimi, sentenced in Israel to sixteen life terms, enjoys utter safety and freedom in Jordan. She is protected by its autocrat, King Abdullah II, who has, since 2013 ignored US demands for her extradition under a treaty signed and ratified in 1995 by his father, King Hussein.

The fact that Tamimi has engaged in public incitement to terrorism from widely-viewed TV and social media platforms does not interest Israel. Consecutive governments have nurtured their intimate friendship with Jordan since her release in the Shalit "Deal" of 2011. 

Meanwhile Israeli journalists - even so called "right wing" and religious ones - have ignored our pleas for their coverage of this travesty of justice.

Yom Hazikaron, Israel's Day of Remembrance, is an appropriate time to call attention to the current status of terrorism and its victims. We are on a slippery slope toward rampant terrorism denial. That will increasingly threaten Israel's security.

Israel's leaders, politicians and journalists must take a stand. Call out those - like CNN - who report about the terror attacks as "car crashes". Stop rewarding those - like Jordan - who shield fugitive terrorists and reject treaty-based demands for extradition.

The consequences of continued silence could be grave.

Words my murdered child left behind

Every year at Yom Hazikaron time (it begins at sunset today), I comb through my Malki's last diary for an excerpt to publish. It isn't an easy task.

First, it breaks my heart to read her words. And second, it is an eyestrain because her script is miniscule. 

She tried her utmost to milk that pocket-sized diary for all it's worth. Details of nearly every day of her last year of life are recorded: youth group activities, quotes of her friends, tallies of hours studied for an exam, help she gave me in caring for her severely-disabled little sister, thoughts, worries. and records of every single terror attack and its victims. 

When the pages didn't suffice, she would glue on strips of paper to enable her to complete the account. It's in the photo on the right. 

Just as she squeezed every bit of writing possible into that diary, so too she squeezed into every day of her short, special life the experiences and deeds that spread joy and pleasure to everyone she encountered, whether through her words, her artwork or her flute and guitar playing.

What a precious girl she was.

And here below is a photo of the new diary she had just purchased and dedicated shortly before a Hamas terrorist, Ahlam Tamimi, cut short her life. Malki was carrying it in her backpack on that sunny, August afternoon. 

The condition of the diary, which is here beside me, demonstrates the brutal force of those 10 kgs of explosives Tamimi used to execute the Sbarro massacre - the terrorist outrage she has publicly called "my operation".

In the diary entry of June 11, 2001 to which I randomly turned today and which I've photographed, she records something I remember her telling me that had touched her. She and her older brother, Shaya, went to buy themselves new glasses - and independently selected the identical frames.

She ended that day's entry: 

"I studied all day. I didn't go to the snif [a Hebrew word that means her youth group's hangout]. I went in the middle on a tour with Mommy. And that's it."

I don't recall that tour. Nor can I imagine where it was. I will never know.

A cash award for a cover up?

Screenshot from the Aleh website capturing
the parade accompanying the return of some
hospitalized residents [Facebook]

As a bereaved parent - my daughter Malki was murdered in the Hamas bombing of Sbarro in 2001 - I was disturbed by Aleh's callous use of Yom Hazikaron [Remembrance Day] to fundraise via its Facebook page.

I am equally appalled by Aleh's persistent silence about the death of one of its residents - a 41 year old woman - to Covid-19 on April 13 ["Following a Covid-19 death at Aleh, a troubling silence"]. Some sort of tribute - even a mere mention of her passing - would have been expected. But as we approach her shloshim, there has still been none.

On the other hand, a birthday party for a pre-schooler living in an Aleh institution was reported in detail [here - video] along with several photos and a video of "the event". Staff members are shown dancing around the child in her wheelchair.

Likewise, an announcement [here] of Natan Sharansky's decision [archived] to donate to Aleh, a portion of the Genesis Prize he won was publicized with accompanying photos.

But the death of a resident? It merits not a word.

Aleh has been similarly mum about several of its residents hospitalized with Covid-19. On April 13,  nine were reported on Ynet as being treated in hospitals scattered around the country

On April 22, Aleh's PR lackeys posted a "ticker tape parade" that was staged to welcome four of those residents back to Aleh Gedera. The public has learned nothing about the remaining five ill residents.

I suppose Aleh presumes the public will just assume Aleh residents suffered from Covid-19 much as other residents of closed facilities where the virus spread like wildfire.

Well, some of us not only remember this cover-up. We are pushing for the changes that were long overdue here; changes that would have prevented the three - yes, three - separate outbreaks of the virus in Aleh facilities.

Were this government more attuned to the needs of people with disabilities and to the trends in care-giving that have already been adopted throughout the developed world, Aleh would not be thriving.

To Aleh: Time for transparency

The death of a 41 year old woman living at Aleh Gedera ["Following a Covid-19 death at Aleh, a troubling silence"] was reported on April 14. Nevertheless, there is still no acknowledgement anywhere on the Aleh sites or Facebook pages of her passing. She was one of the youngest of Israel's victims of the virus.

Despite studiously ignoring that tragedy, Aleh's PR hacks have utilized Covid 19 to the hilt for its fundraising activities.

Aleh staged a lavish welcoming splash - Israeli flags lined the streets, music blared from a van - to greet the return of four other residents who had been hospitalized for weeks with Covid-19. 

On April 14, the news services reported that nine Aleh residents were hospitalized in several hospitals. What is the current condition of the remaining five? Aleh has not shared that information with the public.

This obfuscation on the part of Aleh, Israel's largest chain of closed institutions for people with disabilities is beyond objectionable. It is the height of insensitivity and callousness towards its vulnerable, helpless population, many of whom are babies and children.

This attitude is coupled with a freewheeling approach toward utilizing its healthy residents for photo ops. So on Yom Hashoa, numerous photos of "commemoration" of the day in Aleh institutions were posted on its sites. 

As the mother of a 25 year old daughter with profound and complex disabilities, I can assure you that not one of the residents pictured grasped the significance of the day in any sense! The photos made a mockery of Yom Hashoa by mining it for financial gain.

As a bereaved mother whose child was murdered in the terror bombing of Sbarro in 2001, I dread seeing how Aleh's heartless PR team will cash in on Yom Hazikaron next week. But I have little doubt that is just what they intend to do.

Remembering Malki; remembering justice

I am certain that along with all of us, the grieving families, Jews everywhere are taking a few moments today to remember the innocents who were snatched from us before their time through battle and terrorism.

As we do both on Malki's yahrzeit - the 20th day of the month of Av - and on Yom Hazikaron today, we have lit a candle. And I have opened her diary.

I struggle to read the tiny script with which she recorded both her innermost feelings alongside her mundane recollections of every day in her last year. It is nothing short of a torture. Invariably I unearth words that highlight what a uniquely kind, generous, gifted and innocent soul Malki was.

Three days before Yom Hazikaron of that year, 2001, there was a human-bomb attack on a bus in Kfar Saba. As with every terror attack,, Malki recorded the details in red pen: 

"There was a suicide attack this morning in Kfar Saba. Thank G-d there were no fatalities but there were many injured and one is in a serious condition." 

(The corner of Weizman and Tchernichovsky streets in Kfar Sava, April 21, 2001: One innocent person killed, about 60 injured, two severely. Hamas for which Tamimi worked claimed responsibility.)

From Malki's diary, April 2001

She then proceeded in black ink to relate her difficulties in getting to school on time, how exhausted she was, that she reset her alarm, that she waited three-quarters of an hour for her bus which was jam-packed and that she finally arrived at the end of her Literature class.

I flipped a few pages forward and found that on Sunday, the day before Shavuot she had written:

"I finally helped Mommy loads. I truly helped her prepare the food and it gave me a really good feeling. Bubby (Grandma) is coming for the holiday."

Remember, her murderer, Ahlam Tamimi, lives free in Jordan, unrepentant and proud of the massacre she perpetrated which took the lives of sixteen Jewish men, women and children. 

To date, the efforts my husband and I have made to have her extradited from Jordan to the United States pursuant to her indictment in 2017 have borne no fruit. But we have not given up the struggle. 

"צדק, צדק תרדוף!" remains our guiding tenet.

What we forget when we remember

Wednesday is Yom Hazikaron.

There really isn't anything to add to what we have already said and written about our precious Malki.

Snatched from us brutally in the 2001 Hamas bombing of Jerusalem's Sbarro pizzeria, she is mostly forgotten. 

The blood-thirst of that terror organization, its quest for murder of Jewish children, are also forgotten. 

The joy and pride of the mastermind of that Sbarro massacre, Ahlam Tamimi, are well and truly forgotten. 

And the fact that Tamimi is alive and well and free in Amman is not only forgotten - it has never been noted. 

Many across the globe now condemn Israel for defending itself against Hamas' latest attempts to infiltrate and murder on our soil. 

Perhaps a reminder of Hamas' past "achievements" will sway some of them. 

No words can do that better than those engraved on our Malki's tombstone:

Malka Chana Roth may G-d avenge her death
Dear granddaughter, daughter, sister
Devoted youth leader
Who did kindnesses and spread happiness

Born in Melbourne, Australia
14th Kislev תשמ"ו
Rose heavenward in a storm
in the center of Jerusalem
20th of Menachem Av, תשס"א